Jeremy wanted to be all grown up and handle everything on his own.
Which is every parent’s goal is to have their children grow up to take care of themselves. Be independent and learn to handle life as it comes. But saying that, we don’t want our children to feel that they are alone and need to handle live all by themselves.
Jeremy’s parents do want you to know that if Jeremy only communicated more with his family and family listen better, perhaps he may still be alive. There is no way to turn the clock back in time.
We would like to share a real life story we had and since learned other families are dealing with.
Jeremy could not understand why his parents would send him text messages all the time, until he finally asked me. His Mom said to him, they just need to know that he was OK and not in an accident in a ditch some place. As sad as it sounds now, Jeremy and I (Mom) had an understanding if we (Mom or Dad) had not heard from him in a day or so, I would send out a pre-made text, it said, “Jeremy are you alive and well?”. He knew if he got that message, we were thinking and worrying about him and we just needed to know that his was OK. He did learn to just send me a quick yes or sometimes a little longer message telling me where he was and what he was up to, or if we were lucky we would get a call back.
So if you get annoyed with the voicemails and text messages coming from your Mom &/or Dad, they are not trying to be controlling, they just want to make sure you are alive and well. Just text them back and let them know you are OK and when you might see them again. Why don’t you set up something like this for your family?
It did help cut down a lot of tension for all of us.
All that being said we strongly recommend you all LISTEN to each other a little better.
For the young people reading this, please listen to your body.Please if you are having health, physical, mental or emotional concerns, please get help.
It is not a weakness to ask for help. Everyone needs help in life. Please know that your parents and family and friends love you. Sometimes, parents just don’t know how to reach you teens and young adults. You all are so quick to grow up and handle everything on your own, no one expects you to handle life on your own. We, parents, want you to let us help you.
When it seems impossible to talk to your parents – don’t give up on them. They are learning as they go as well, but remember they have one up on you, they have been where you are now.
Sometimes it is difficult to talk to us parents but don’t give up trying, especially if it is something important or even if you just what to share something in your life. Parents sometimes get caught up in paying the bills, dealing with work or relationship issues or something simple like making dinner, we sometimes forget to listen.
Tell them very calmly you would like to talk. Remember talking about everyday things are especially special to a parent.
One small blessing we have to hang on to is that every chance we could we told Jeremy we loved him. Everytime Jeremy left the house he said the same to us.
In less than 2 years of Jeremy’s passing, several of his friends have passed away from a variety of reasons. They never expected to leave their friends and family so quickly either. You just never know when it is your time. Tell your family and friends that you love and care about them. Talk to your family and parents, don’t let your disagreements interfere with turning to your family when you need their help.
For parents reading this, let your children know you love them.
Tell them every day, even if you have to text them to let them know.
Let them know you may not agree with all their decisions but you will always love them.
Your children don’t understand that your fears or concerns, your constant questioning is a way we sometimes show we care. Don’t give up on your kids, no matter how old they are, they will always need you, even when they are reaching out to adulthood.
If you know they are confused as to what direction to go in, do everything in you power to help them to find the correct direction they need to go in. (Not your desired direction for them.) Just remember to listen to each other, make time to talk.